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Sphinx 09-12-2013 07:49 PM

Take him to the Emergency Room again, and basically fight like hell. Fight the nurses, fight the doctors, and fight like you're General Custard (Verbally). Play every ace in the fucking hole that you have, or act like you are holding a royal flush and bluff. If the insurance companies are being cunts, tell them that they are not acting in "good faith." Those two words scare the shit out of them. Call Mando's other Doctor, have the ER Docs call him/her, be the bitch that is in you. Basically say that he is NOT acting right and you don't give a damn what they say, and that he needs to be treated. The problem is that he can still make his own decisions, and can leave the hospital when he damn well pleases - from the sounds of it. Wage world war 3, get your way. Fuck, call me and I'll wage war on them from afar. When my Dad was ill, I once had a nurse get irate with me because I was asking endless questions. I smiled and said, "If you think I'm going to leave his illness solely in your hands, you clearly haven't realized my Dad's fighting capabilities are enhanced about 200x over in me." If you have to be a bad bitch, get down and dirty. This is your son's life you are fighting for; there is no backing down, giving up, or feeling like you've done everything. You fight until the last sword impales you and you cross through the pearly white gates. And then you raise enough Cain that something is done from him through divine intervention.

It is a good thing it is NOT AIDS, Michele, that would be terrible. If he lied? Make him put you down as someone that his health information can be shared with. I put my parents down for that reason still. Not a lot of help here in Chicago, but you know...

Remember, all is not lost in despair. You actually have a small victory in this. He doesn't have AIDS. And I will say this, that seems inconsequential in terms of what's yet to be revealed, but there's the silver lining.

grandmamichelf 09-12-2013 08:12 PM

He doesn't have a job. He doesn't have health insurance. He won't go anywhere with me right now.

15 minutes after he told me I didn't love him he doesn't remember saying that.

The man came out with Mando and said "He has to tell you if he chooses to" but he gave my older son and me a look that has my oldest child wondering if Mando was entirely truthful about the results of the tests. I don't want him to have the HIV virus and I told him that. But some people have a point...he isn't exactly in reality all the time. How can I be sure that what he said is the truth? I can't. It's confidential. So at this point I have to trust that my son wouldn't lie to me at all about this.

I have to give up. I'm exhausted, worn out, done in, and can't think of a single solitary thing to do for him anymore. He doesn't want me to drag him to one more thing. Since we came home, he's been in his room where he is all the damn time. Doesn't talk to us unless he can't operate the remote or whatever he thinks he needs. I'm tired. I fight and I fight and I fight. For what? Someone who doesn't want to get up out of the fucking bed? Someone who walks like a 90 year old man? Someone who hasn't taken a shower in two weeks and no matter how I beg or snap at him, he still doesn't do it? He's MY CHILD! And he's fading away from me and I can't stand it any longer. I want to pound on him. I want to smack him on the head and tell him to wake the fuck up, that life is passing his skinny ass by.

I want to scream at God like I did when Lexi almost died and tell him to do something NOW. Give me someone, anyone, who will take this shit seriously.

I'm sorry. I'm so worn out, emotionally and mentally. I don't know what else to do. Our older son asked if I was sure we couldn't make sure Mando wasn't lying to us. I told him yes I'm sure. Our older son said maybe it was positive and he wants to wait for that 2nd confirmatory test before he says anything. I said that's just ludicrous to even think that.

grandmamichelf 09-12-2013 08:15 PM

But ya'll know me too well. I won't go down without a fight. I won't let my son go gentle into that good night without me fighting. I just need to rest, recuperate both mentally and emotionally. Then I will figure this shit out.

One thing I do need to check on is the anemia. I wonder if it's worse than the ER doctor said and maybe that's why he is so tired. I just know he and I need a break from running all over the place.

And I need to get my driver's license renewed before next Thursday.:D

Sphinx 09-12-2013 08:52 PM

I know what you're feeling all too well (different circumstances). It's okay to feel that way. A war is not won without fatigue and battles lost; one battle lost doesn't mean you've lost the war. Recoup, make a new plan, and wage onward. As for what he's said, I know you casually threw it out there but that shit is painful. It's difficult to hear, but he's not mentally right. He doesn't actually mean it. And I know there's nothing I can personally say to take away that pain, but I assure you, when he comes out of this...he will be beyond grateful for you. He will come back to you.

Tina 09-12-2013 09:01 PM

Hmmm wouldn't they have scheduled another test with him if it was positive? How would he get there? Are they going to contact him via phone or do you think they did the test right there when he was in the consultation? The other doctor said that he can't take care of himself that would mean that you could be made guardian if the doctors confirm it. that way you'd be privy to all the health info.

You could also get Mando in a good mood and have him sign a Health Power of Attorney for you and have it notarized so that you are privy to his information and allowed to make decisions. I had that for my parents for decades and I my daughter has one for my husband and I just in case something happens. It was all recommended in our estate planning. Just don't let the notary know that he's behaving abnormally when you do it. Cuz it won't be valid if he's incompetent. So there's a couple ways to go. If they did the second test do you think that they would send the results in the mail? It seems to me that they would confirm that in writing and it would come to your address.

Just thinking of ways for you to get more information. It seems weird if it was negative that they wouldn't say Mando do you want them to know the results?

Sorry but as a mother I am not above doing anything as shady as I can to protect my child and find out what the haps are.

Also if he is being untruthful about the test it is putting you in a bad position because it is contagious as Wingz said and there are certain precautions if he is really sick that you would want to follow.

SassyGal 09-12-2013 10:12 PM

grandma call them & tell them your son said he had an appointment to go for complete blood test but can't remember when & that you need to arrange for transportation.....they can't tell you anything but should be able to let you know when/where appoint is if he was assigned one or they will tell you he doesn't have one. You may need to do it with Mando near phone since he has some confusion it is in your best interest to use that to get the information you need....odds are Mando won't remember what he told you so you may get the info that way.....

Also call the health department & see if you have a low cost no cost STD program then take him in & tell them he had an possible exposure to syphyllis while in NY but that his roommate couldn't tell you who the other man was.....I know again on the shady side but not a complete fib since he could have been exposed!

SassyGal 09-12-2013 10:14 PM

The other thing you could try is getting him to sign a release of information for the family doctor to get the result from that clinic

grandmamichelf 09-13-2013 07:37 AM

What I understood is that if the pinprick results were negative, then they draw blood and send it out to the lab. When I left this morning, I looked in on him. He had short sleeves on and I looked, albeit quickly, for a sign that they had drawn more blood. As far as I could tell, they didn't. So maybe he was telling the truth. I just have to believe him.

My boss told me to go to a hotel and take time for myself for a couple of days. But if I needed anything he was there to help out.

Oh well.

grandmamichelf 09-13-2013 03:17 PM

I meant to say that if the pinprick was positive.

Talked to him at lunch today. He said they drew blood after the pinprick. However he's so not in reality I don't know if that's true. So I called the NAP and talked to the guy there knowing that he can't give me information. I explained everything. And while we were talking he had a brilliant idea. Home test! He even sent me the link to the one at Walgreens. There are actually two but the swab test will give results in 30 minutes. The other one is a blood test in 24 hours. My Walgreens sell them for $35.00 (the swab one). Guess what I'm going to do?

AND, I will sit on that child of mine and force his mouth open if he refuses. But first, like my boss told me, detach for a couple of days to gather myself together and then go at it again. He also said he'd be thinking of me doing this for my son this weekend. Man, I adore my boss even when he makes me mad. But he's such a great person (and good looking too).

So come Sunday, maybe even tomorrow, I will be doing this. But I'm so drained right now that I can't think straight.

Sphinx 09-13-2013 03:25 PM

Gotta take care of yourself first before you can take care of anyone else.


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