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Old 10-31-2012, 03:40 PM   #11
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The divorce is going to be a blood bath and absolutely nasty. My Mom has become extremely vindictive and vengeful. All the more reason why it's time to get away, before the bombs start to fly.
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Old 10-31-2012, 09:14 PM   #12
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I've been divorced three times. I don't have a clue as to what you should do.
My only suggestion is to get as far away as possible and refuse to discuss their situation with either party. You can't win and you can't help.

I'm very sorry to hear it, Sphinx. I know it can't be easy for you.
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Old 11-01-2012, 03:57 AM   #13
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Thanks y'all, I'm trying to get away. I apply for jobs daily. Hope someone snags this catch soon.
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Old 11-01-2012, 04:04 PM   #14
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I've been divorced three times. I don't have a clue as to what you should do.
My only suggestion is to get as far away as possible and refuse to discuss their situation with either party. You can't win and you can't help.

I'm very sorry to hear it, Sphinx. I know it can't be easy for you.
I agree. Hell, in case of divorce myself, this is my plan LOL The further away the better.
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Old 11-01-2012, 05:15 PM   #15
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Yeah, I'm gonna have to get out...quick. My brother texted me that he's taking sides, that I was wrong for not picking a side, and that he's siding with my Dad. He has every intention of telling my Mom after the wedding, and I told him to wait it out and see if it happened at all. And he intends on helping my Dad in any way possible and distancing himself from my Mom.

We'll see what happens...

All I know is, this bitch is getting THE HELL outta dodge.
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Old 11-01-2012, 06:05 PM   #16
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Your brother is stupid, but we knew that already. He will regret getting involved.

See... the the thing is, they are your parents. Even if one of them goes completely nuts, they are still your parents. That is unconditional love. There is no divorce... UNCONDITIONAL, which means, you don't choose a side. Sure, if your brother thinks that your dad may need help setting up elsewhere or what not, go for it... but still, no sides.

Their love on the other hand... Conditional. They are two people, not related, who chose to live their lives together and are now choosing to live them apart. There is absolutely nothing you can do about that, nor should you try.
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Old 11-01-2012, 06:35 PM   #17
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Oh, I know...

Did I mention he now works at the same store I do?

Oy. Family.
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Old 11-02-2012, 02:01 PM   #18
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If my husband and I had ever divorced, I would NEVER ask my children to pick a side. How horrible.

You do the best you can. You be supportive of both sides no matter what. You won't regret it in the long run. Your brother, however, is a numnuts (sorry).
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Old 11-02-2012, 03:30 PM   #19
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If my husband and I had ever divorced, I would NEVER ask my children to pick a side. How horrible.

You do the best you can. You be supportive of both sides no matter what. You won't regret it in the long run. Your brother, however, is a numnuts (sorry).
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I think it's because I'm just more experienced in total interpersonal disasters. He's a numnuts, that's for sure, but I think he's just a product of his life. I don't think he has foresight and can anticipate problems. He's setting himself up to be completely decimated, because he does owe my parents a megaton of money. And I know my Mom's nature currently...it's like seeing, "WARNING IMPENDING DISASTER" coincidentally being spelled out in alphabet soup.

I've just accepted all of my family members for what they are. My Mom can be psychotic, my Dad can be bitter, and my brother can be an asshole. God knows I have my faults. Is what it is. Only thing I can do is stand aside and let them war it out, and if necessary interject only when they're battles infringe into my life. Last time that happened they all learned that there's no spillover allowed. LOL

In the long run they'll be happier, which ultimately is why one divorces. Who knows, my Mom could have been speaking out of anger - doubtful. My Dad would never divorce her, but she would do it without thinking. *shrug*

Thanks everyone, 'preciate it!
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Old 01-21-2013, 12:08 PM   #20
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I think I crossed some invisible line, but I'm so sick of their bickering and fighting that I finally blew my lid today.

They're financially strapped and neither is willing to compromise, so I'm sitting there as the intermediary as the venting board. It's just outright warfare between the two of them at this point. I drove with my Dad to help him move stuff, and he said as we drove past condos, "I looked to live there but it was out of my price range..."

So, today, my Mom did some stupid shopping again and my Dad started to blow and I flat out started pushing him to file for a divorce. He said it was between them, but that he's been "Mentally and in his heart divorced for many years."

Which, I agree it is between them...but then look at what isn't between you anymore. I'm just sick of it. And so long as I'm living here, there is no chance in hell I can simply say "I'm not a party to this." And trust me, I'm doing all I can to get away. I don't know what is the universe's problem. It's like there's some silent plot going on that I'm unaware of.

And I'm totally aware of the line I crossed. Just let it happen. I'm so tired of it. It's not that we couldn't still be a family, it's just that it'd change.
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