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Old 11-26-2016, 09:23 AM   #1
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Once again, I am estranged from 3/4ths of my immediate family. It's the same song and dance that has been ongoing for years. It's irrelevant at this point what happened, because the battle lines have existed for years we just tear up the cease-fire.

Is it appropriate to send the girls gifts for Christmas? I don't want to make them collateral damage. I'd simply send the gifts to their house in my Dad's name, have him wrap their gifts for me, and put my name on the tag for them. I told my Dad that I don't care if he uses his judgment and thinks that given the frosty relations, he could put his name on the presents so as they at least get the gifts. I don't need credit.

Thoughts?
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Old 11-26-2016, 12:42 PM   #2
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The girls shouldn't be collateral. I agree. I think you're still their uncle and they love you. It's clear you love them. But I think its also clear that you love them and gifts may not be what they need to know that. However, they are young and it is Christmas. I support it, for what its worth. LOL
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Old 11-28-2016, 11:44 AM   #3
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It's all a bit convoluted, because they're so young. The two youngest really don't even know me, because I have been home so infrequently due to these battles in the larger war. And I know that if I don't send anything, then it's gonna turn into my mother bitching and trying to eviscerate me for not.
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Old 11-29-2016, 03:45 AM   #4
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so... will your brother actually make them collateral?
IF... IF you can trust him to be a 'daddy' and be happy they got gifts, then I say send them!!! ITS CHRISTMAS and they are kids!!
BUT
if you know FOR SURE that he will be a smart ass about it, "oh wow your wonderful uncle sent you a gift, how fuckin special"... shit like that, that will make them feel bad for getting something, then, well, that is REALLY fucked up.
He is the one with the problem.... not his children!

I would send.... and let him know to keep his mouth shut, its for them, not him, and there is no need for comments!

I'm so sorry....
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Old 12-02-2016, 02:37 PM   #5
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I didn't even think about that. Some things happened this week with my Dad's health, so that kind of brought tensions down a bit. Not that my brother and I have yet spoken in 2016, but some things just are what they are.

I think I'm just gonna send gifts to my Dad, have him wrap them from me for the girls to open. Is what it is, but there's some things that can't be walked back from. And what that trio did requires more than apology.
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Old 12-02-2016, 04:04 PM   #6
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Thoughts to your dad, Zach!
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Old 12-03-2016, 05:48 AM   #7
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and... sadly, i doubt you will EVER get more than an apology.... .if you even get that

but ill pray for your daddy... love can REALLY conquer all
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Old 12-05-2016, 07:20 AM   #8
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Thanks guys!

We'll know more soon, I think he'll be alright
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