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Old 10-14-2013, 11:25 AM   #161
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I've come to the conclusion there is nothing to be said anymore. It is what it is. The fight is on. I dare say that life will get more complicated when he comes home. We will make sure that he takes whatever meds they will give him. Whatever the prognosis is, we will deal with it. There will be no moping around when he's at home. There will be no sadness or lack of understanding.

This house will hold joy because, in spite of this horrid disease, he is our son and brother. He is loved and always will be. I will not let this disease win at this point. There may come a time when there is nothing more I can do, but I swear by all that is holy, it is not this time. It is not today or tomorrow. While at times I may only have the faith of a mustard seed, it is more than enough for all of us.

This is my house. This is my family. And no matter what, I will be the one who fights. So will his father, sister, and brother. So will the grandchildren. So will the sister-in-law. I didn't raise this family to be quitters and it won't happen now. Not on my watch.

There is no doubt in my mind that if Mando needs someone strong in his corner to help him through this his Mom is supremely qualified. You are so lucky to have the bosses you have because most are complete jerks and only in it for themselves.

Let me know if there is anything I can do for you.
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Old 10-18-2013, 07:06 PM   #162
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Update: Armando is home from the hospital. He came home on Wednesday afternoon. He has an infection in his lungs. They don't know what kind of infection but they are treating everything with Bacterim (sp). He's also taking celexa. He was taking nystatin for thrush however that has changed mostly because he would just not swallow the stuff.

Today we went to see the infectious disease clinic that will be responsible for him. They have him already on the Ryan White Program which will pay for his doctor visits and medications. I am so happy for this. It was really horrible at the doctor's office because he so weak. But he didn't want a wheelchair so we have the gait belt.

I am so impressed with this clinic and the people in it. Very caring people The social worker, Jeremy, said he wouldn't work there if these people didn't care. I was given so much hope today. And damn if there isn't a really good looking doctor man there with the prettiest eyes. (Sorry, couldn't resist saying that).

They told me his brain has decreased in volume with what they suspect is a little fluid. They don't know if that will heal when he starts taking the HIV meds. They will start him on two but needed to run a couple more lab because of his kidneys not really working well at this time. BUT they said they have seen people as bad as Mando and worse get 100 percent better once they take the meds. I know he will always have AIDS, but the outlook can be good for him. They aren't willing to say until he's been on the meds a while.

It's so hard having him at home but I wouldn't have him anywhere else. I got a syringe to push water into his mouth and milkshakes like the doctor suggested today. It hurts him to chew because of the thrush. He weighs 147 pounds now because he has no interest in eating. He's incontinent, totally, but I have such hope.

I told ya'll...I'm a fighter. I will beat this shit with my little if I have to. Yes, I go off by myself and cry but not around him. He's so damn stubborn though when we have to change him that I just want to scream, but I don't.

And I tell you what: I called our oldest son today and said he would have to come help his father give his brother a shower because I don't want him to lose all of his dignity. It's bad enough I have to be in there to change his Depends at this point.

And my boss? He's the absolute best. He keeps his eyes and ears open for things that might help us out. I am lucky to have the family I do and the boss I have. Actually I have 3 bosses and they are all fantastic even when I get pissed at them.

I love all ya'll. Ya'll mean the world to me and have been so supportive. I can't thank any of you enough. This isn't over. Not by a long shot. But hell, we're all beating it back down, aren't we?
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Old 10-18-2013, 07:47 PM   #163
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glad to hear he is home & that you are getting help with the finances!!

Now I am going to CORRECT you.....get with the right mindset here...
Mando has HIV....it can be controlled & lived with......
Use of the term AIDS refers to the various infections lead to death,,,

I am taking the positive route here Mando has HIV and he WILL get it under control with the proper drug cocktail!!



Love Hugs & Prayers for you all!!
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Old 10-18-2013, 08:11 PM   #164
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Sounds like the clinic is just what he needed. They sound on top of everything. Hope future tests help in the protocal so that they can give him the meds he needs to fight these infections. I'm assuming they are giving him celexa for any depression or anxiety. I take it for anxiety and it helps tremendously. You sound tough grandma! Good for you!! Much love to all of you.
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Old 10-19-2013, 09:28 AM   #165
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glad to hear he is home & that you are getting help with the finances!!

Now I am going to CORRECT you.....get with the right mindset here...
Mando has HIV....it can be controlled & lived with......
Use of the term AIDS refers to the various infections lead to death,,,

I am taking the positive route here Mando has HIV and he WILL get it under control with the proper drug cocktail!!



Love Hugs & Prayers for you all!!
Yep, he has HIV. Okay. That does sound better than AIDS. Unfortunately for me, the doctors differentiate between HIV and AIDS. That's where I am in my head with it. Because of the associated infections that he has, they continue to use the term "AIDS". I wonder if they will revert to HIV when he finally starts on the cocktails and starts to progress more.

He is talking now, once in awhile. The greatest sound I just heard was "Mom? What are you doing?"
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Old 10-19-2013, 09:52 AM   #166
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Yep, he has HIV. Okay. That does sound better than AIDS. Unfortunately for me, the doctors differentiate between HIV and AIDS. That's where I am in my head with it. Because of the associated infections that he has, they continue to use the term "AIDS". I wonder if they will revert to HIV when he finally starts on the cocktails and starts to progress more.

He is talking now, once in awhile. The greatest sound I just heard was "Mom? What are you doing?"
your last sentence just made me cry my eyes out.
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