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Old 08-19-2013, 05:34 PM   #1
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Thinking This is really difficult to write

I'm so worried and scared. Our second oldest son, Mando, moved home from NY. He lost his job over a year ago and then broke up with his boyfriend of five years. When he came home he was depressed and that was understandable but he had plans and was putting out job applications. His old job promised to hire him back but that hasn't happened yet.

Here's the part that's scaring me: He doesn't get out of bed. He sleeps the day away and is up at night but then goes to sleep. He was calling me in the middle of the night from his room down the hall to see when I was coming home from work. He told his sister-in-law that his father and sister went to a concert and came home at 4am only to go downstairs and play the drums. It kept him awake. He also told her that for his birthday we went out to eat and our older son was with us (he wasn't.) He woke us up the other night at 1am to tell us he was going to go to volleyball tryouts. When I questioned him about doing that in the middle of the night he told me not to be ridiculous.

At one point he called me at work and told me that Alex (his old boyfriend) worked downtown at the Old Market and commuted by subway from New Jersey to Omaha. He wanted to invite him to the barbecue we were having and I couldn't get him to realize that NJ is not next door to Nebraska. His brother talked to him and he said the same thing to his brother.

We got him to go outside for 15 minutes to play badminton in the front yard. At one point he lost his balance and fell down scaring the shit of his father and me. He shuffles like an old man but he's only 36. He doesn't shower. He doesn't clean his room unless I rag on him and I really try not to do that. He wonders why I start to cry when I tell him he is worth the world to me and I'm not going to stand by and watch him disintegrate like this.

He just came in with one shoe on and told me he was going to go to the gym we always go to and talk to the people there. I asked him what gym and he said downstairs. Since there are no people down there, I'm wondering who he plans to talk to. I told him to walk to the end of the block and back just toget some strength back.

I am so scared. I have an appointment with our family doctor on Thursday. Armando has no insurance although he keeps telling me he has an insurance card so yes he does. He calls me at work to talk to me but I'm so busy I don't have time to give him the attention I know he needs. He called me after I told him I would try to find him help with a counselor because he thought I was going to have him put in a mental hospital.

I know the signs of severe depression but this seems physical as well. Is he suffering from dementia now? Am I losing my child? His father and sister have already talked to our doctor and she gave them some information but when those two go to the doctor, one doesn't understand and one doesn't remember so I'm just going to go find out myself.

I don't know what else it could be. Could this be signs of HIV, early Alzheimer's? Or is his depression so severe that this is what is happening? I know if he doesn't get up and move about his muscles will weaken and his brain will start short circuiting.

I am afraid for my child.
Do not walk in front of me, I will step on you. Do not walk beside me, I will bitch slap you. Do not walk behind me, I will turn around and kick you. I did not come through time and space to bandy words with a witless worm.

Grandma's looking for a grill. If you don't know what that means, you don't know Grandma.
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